The thing about change is that it is not about your being in a certain state, then change puts you into another state. This is a habit of thought. Thought puts reality into categories as "things" in order to understand and gain some power over these "things."
Reality IS change IS actually a process of ongoing potential, which we may or may not pursue in any given moment. And even the concept of a "given moment" is misleading, like pulling a note from a song - useful perhaps, but doesn't give you a sense of the song, itelf.
We tend to think we are born, grow into a "person" who has experiences which may cause some transformation, intentional or not, to the original, and then die. This is our most common myth of who we are. But it doesn't tell the real story, any more than separating those notes out from a song can tell us about the song.
So what is this "real" story? Can we know? Our very thinking is so structured according to the fragmentation/pieces model. But there have been insights which can begin to bring us a little closer to something different.
First, there is nothing about us that is separate. Even the body, easiest to objectify, is in constant motion, changing as cells die and new ones are born, from conception to death.
Second, as the cells come into being, grow, decay and die, the whole process is affected by and dependent on elements which are "separate" from the body (such as oxygen molecules, nutrients, micro-organisms, etc.) Can we really say where we begin and leave off, even just physically?
And once we move into the interior, intangible aspects of who we consider this "self" to be, boundaries become even fuzzier. Sure, I can't know what you are thinking, or experience what you are feeling. But so many "others" have influenced what it is I am thinking and feeling, never mind creating the very possibility of my existence! Thich Nhat Hanh created a word to express this concept: he says we "inter-are."
Why bother to understand and express this concept? My experience of my life gets easier and less stressful to the extent I can rest in a perspective that not only gives meaning to the whole, but also relieves the stress of feeling isolated, vulnerable and supposed to "fix" things.
(This is not to deny responsibility! Responsibility, after all, is really about the ability to respond to whatever is required in a situation - something I am far better able to do when I'm not stressed by focusing on too narrow a sense of self.)
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