An Integrated Life

Blessings

The subject of blessing came up in conversation recently.  It’s a very ancient, powerful and beautiful spiritual practice.  It’s just not one I’ve thought about too much.  But I’m becoming ever more aware of how much we are affected by one another.  It’s not only a matter of what we say to each other, but of how we are together.  In fact, an interesting practice is to start watching how this plays out in every interaction, every day, from the grocery line, to the car, to family members.  Watch the energy that goes out, and watch the response to it – both in others and in yourself.

After a while, it becomes obvious that when the energy exchange is positive, life gets easier and happier for all concerned.  So why not go the extra mile and begin to bestow blessings?  They needn’t be overt, or even very big.  A genuine smile, a kind word, even good thoughts can make a difference.

So what, exactly, is a blessing?  One of my favorite authors, Rachel Naomi Remen wrote a book called My Grandfather’s Blessings.  Her grandfather, an Orthodox rabbi, also studied the Kabbalah, mystic teachings of Judaism.  He taught her that all things, all people contain sparks of the holy, and when encountering one of these, it is appropriate to acknowledge it by saying a blessing.

So a blessing is a recognition and an affirmation, not a thing in itself.  My earliest experience of the word was that every time one sneezed, everyone would say Bless You!  I was told this was to keep the soul from flying out of the body (presumably on that uncontrolled expulsion of breath!)  Here it would seem to be offered as a talisman. 

Looking deeper, though, any precursor to disease (especially to our ancestors) would bring to mind the vulnerability of life.  What better time to affirm that holy spark that keeps us going?

The more I think about how we are inextricably connected and how much we affect each other, the more I can see this blessing practice as not only useful, but essential to our well-being.  I’m committing to watching and listening for those holy sparks so I can recognize, acknowledge and affirm all I can!

Love the Inner Cry!

The feeling of longing, which I have so often tried to quiet with a glass of wine, piece of chocolate or a novel, is actually a healthy thing, I’ve come to realize.  It means I’m alive, and able to communicate to myself.  It’s like a baby letting us know something needs to happen by crying.  A baby that never cried might suffer pain, or get a bad diaper rash, or even become malnourished, and no one notice! 

Life is served by the voice that says, “Hey!  You need to take care of something here!”  Of course the challenge is to decipher the noise.  Baby’s needs are fairly simple to figure out.  (Though don’t ask a new mother about that!)

That inner cry may take years of investigation.  But there are clues.  When are the times it is quiet (from contentment, not fear)?  Mine is blissfully quiet whenever I’m in love.  It can be romantic love, or love for my kids, my grandkids, my friends, myself, my lilac or the peas lining up in the garden.

Being in love, loving sends all my focus on to the beloved (instead of my insecurities).  And suddenly (sound of magic wand), I’m so much bigger than I was. 
Love is expansive!

Being in love, I see the beauty everywhere. 
Love cuts through the crap, and celebrates the rest!

Love pulls me further from the tiny seed of conception, into relationship with another, with the world, with the universe!

So how do I go about “falling in love?”  No need.  It’s everywhere.  I just have to stop cutting myself off from loving.  It’s that simple.  (Just not easy.)

Some Assumptions About Fear

If I stop to just examine a particular fear sensation that’s in my body, I can see it as something separate, an experience, an expectation, a response linked to something by association.

I see this so clearly, yet it’s hard to hold, as if I don’t want to know that.  If, for any reason, the fear went away, I’d feel like a newborn – uncertain, unformed.  (You can be newborn at any age, you know, even when the body is already beginning to sense what death by deterioration might feel like!)

But what happens when the fear is tied to a response set up very early, at a pre-verbal stage?  I’ve always assumed (and I’m sure I’ve read these opinions) that pre-verbal/pre-memory experiences are not accessible to consciousness and therefore can’t be processed differently to create new responses.

But I’m beginning to notice assumptions and see them (just like shoulds) as indicators that questions are called for.  

• First assumption: that there is just one “consciousness” (also assumed to be that waking, conceptual, rational state we spend so much time with).  Is this true?  No way!  Just plain common sense supports this, as well as many psychologists.  I know I’m in a different state when I’m dreaming (occasionally with a foot in each door, as in the few times I realize I’m dreaming while doing it).  Then I’ve experienced the meditative state where I get a wordless kind of understanding.
• Another assumption: I cannot intentionally change what was created in a different state from the more usual, waking consciousness.  Not so true, either!  If the personality is able to navigate those states at all, it should be able to develop skills to do so deliberately, carrying memory and intention from one to another.

If I really stop to think about it, the sky’s the limit (or rather my beliefs are)!  And guess what? - the fear of losing the fear is just another fear! ;-)